The Value of Intimacy in Relationships and with Yourself

Intimacy is the roots and depth of connections you have with others and yourself. Roots meaning the depth of the encounter runs deep, away from the surface. In intimacy, you have a deep connection with yourself, another person, and God.

Intimacy involves the whole person, not just the emotional, mental, physical, or spiritual person separately, but an encounter with all these that a person is.

True Intimacy

Intimacy can be emotional as it contains expressed emotions, which makes it emotional intimacy. But how would you really be emotionally intimate with a person if you are not mentally intimate with them as well? The expressions of the emotional person are expressed through thought processes and words that come from the mental person (mind).

Intimacy in nature demands the whole person, for that’s its dwelling place. It is intimacy because you connect with the whole person not just a part of them.

Remember that to achieve true mental intimacy your mental person ought to be truthful because light is the absence of dark, and truth is the absence of a lie. Intimacy (deep connection) is light and good. A tree doesn’t have one root, it has many ropes of roots which all become the roots of the tree.

As tree roots, they can hold up and support the tree regardless of how long or wide the tree may be. You can practice kinds of intimacy, but these still require the whole person. You can have an intellectual conversation with someone and that can represent mental intimacy, which still requires emotion because you say what you believe because you feel it. What you think is inspired by how you feel, then in return, what you think can affect you emotionally.

You can pray to God or talk about the Almighty and have spiritual intimacy with Him or with a fellow believer in Christ that you are talking with. This may inspire emotions of affection and adoration as well as the thoughts inspired by these emotions. Pure intimacy is aware of itself as not being one rope of a root, but ropes making roots.

Practice intimacy either with yourself or another by connecting mentally with hearing (understanding) words, thoughts and tone. Connect emotionally by engaging with the emotional state, and spiritually by being aware that one is a spirit with a body, if not through prayer and Scriptural meditation.

And physically by being physically there and nowhere else but the present moment. Your relationships depend on wholesome intimacy for them to survive and thrive.

Intimacy implies giving yourself wholly and truthfully to a person. That is why relationships need intimacy to thrive. Intimacy is the air relationships breathe to be alive and well.

Loneliness and Boredom

Intimacy is the cure for loneliness because loneliness happens inside you. It’s a lonely world because the knowledge of true connection and actual intimacy is lost.

You don’t need another to be intimate, that is, you do not need another to not be lonely if you have intimacy with yourself. Loneliness implies a lack of self-knowledge. Besides some serious cases, loneliness is like a sense of boredom within yourself.

Like you don’t know what to do with yourself. That is why it is important to know yourself, so you do not think there is nothing inside you that is worth giving your attention to. For in truth, intimacy starts within thyself.

Engaging with all parts of yourself will keep you so preoccupied and entertained by yourself, so much so that you will have no space for boredom. That’s how you can cure boredom.

You certainly do not depend on other people to not feel lonely, you depend on the relationship you have with yourself. Especially because it is very possible to feel lonely in a room full of people you love and care for. Self-knowledge is the cause of intimacy and the cure for boredom and possibly loneliness. The loneliness that is deeper can only be cured through healing. Intimacy with yourself will be how a need for healing is needed for loneliness.

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