Emotional Intelligence is a Necessity in Life
Learning how to handle your emotions is a vital skill for mental and overall health. Emotions are a powerful experience that is ever-present within you and so learning how to handle your emotions is vital for survival and thriving. Emotional intelligence is the ability to feel your emotions without drowning in them.
It’s having the skill of letting go of the negative emotions after feeling them. Letting go through being with the emotion and feeling it and naming it. Journaling your emotions while being present in them, and therefore being ready and equipped to let them go.
Emotional intelligence is having the intelligence that is understanding that these sensations (emotions) are information about your engagement with a certain moment or situation, as opposed to what the situation actually is.
Emotions have nothing to do with the truth of the matter of events or moments, but rather solely to do with your encounter (perception) with the moments or instances on a personal one-on-one basis.
So, emotional intelligence is the informed way you engage with moments and situations in your life. A lack of know-how when it comes to negative emotions can become detrimental at an existential level.
If you do not know how to deal with and handle your negative emotions, it could go as far as feeling anxiety and depression, etc., because you simply don’t know what to do with your emotional self. The reality of emotional health is the truest wealth in life because then you have mastered being alive.
Tips for Emotional Intelligence
In becoming emotionally intelligent, you first must understand that emotions have little to do with the moment at hand and everything to do with the engraved paradigms and neuron paths of your psyche. That is why healing is crucial in your personal journey because there are instilled ways of being that are rooted in pain and insecurity, which make up your mental and emotional reality.
Secondly, you must understand that you are not your emotions so you do not have to live in emotions going through the motions as a way of living life. This is not truly being alive because the best things in life are not emotions, they are good (positive) spirits (states of being) like, joy, humility, gentleness, love, wisdom, understanding, goodness, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, etc.
These, which are in the spiritual realm reached by your spirit (true self) ought to be what you live in, not emotions. After all, happiness is fleeting as a moment, but joy is ever-present when realized within. Be outside emotions and tap into them by your informed willpower, as opposed to them happening to you uncontrollably. You choose what happens within you. This is how you master emotional health.
However, negative emotions ought to not be escaped or buried or neglected or hated. Emotions are guidance and informational, you should not identify with them. They are not you. They are a current update on your perception of any given matter or moment. Knowing emotions for what they are, you will allow them to happen and be felt without restrictions if need be.
Because third is knowing that negative emotions leave only when they have been acknowledged by being felt. As long as you have not felt a negative emotion in its entirety, that is, completely surrendering to feeling the emotion, the emotion will remain.
Whether it is an ancient emotion from year three of your life, or an emotion from a heartbreak a few months ago. Just as you know thoughts come and go, and your dwelling in thoughts is neither healthy nor helpful especially when they are negative, negative emotions are meant to be felt in order to leave as opposed to a negative emotion from any given moment making a home in you.
It is best to keep your emotion room free and decluttered for your continued emotional experience and emotional health.
So, emotional intelligence is the informed way you engage with moments and situations in your life.
Fourthly you must know that it is possible to take hold of yourself and direct yourself in the way you should go. A lack of practice in controlling yourself will convince you that you cannot control yourself.
Once you know you’ve undoubtedly immersed yourself in feeling an emotion and being with it for a good while, having processed the emotion fully, it then becomes time to take hold of yourself and move away from that negative emotion, so it can move farther away from you as well.
Ensuring that you don’t become too familiar with the negative emotion to want to keep it or feel it over and over again perpetually and unendingly.
Realizing that you are the controller of the process of feeling your emotions and letting them go. Only you choose what happens within you. You choose to feel any positive or negative emotions. And that if you don’t control this process, it will surely control you.
How I deal with my emotional entity
How I have come to deal with my emotions is not practicing being in my emotions, both the positive and negative ones. Though I may gladly feel the positive ones, I understand they are fleeting so I don’t depend on them for my well-being. And I understand that the negative ones, may not be a trauma or a thing that particularly needs healing, and so I don’t engage in them because I equate them to engaging with a negative thought and of course, I shouldn’t do that, so I don’t do that with emotions as well. I root myself in more wholesome states of being, like joy instead of happiness, kindness, humility, gentleness, peace, etc.
Self-control is grossly an underrated term in the self-movement, in the self-love and self-care movement. You only have no control over yourself because you have not yet practiced control over yourself.
Practice self-control for your emotional intelligence and that practice will become a habit and thus inevitably be performed effortlessly. When emotions are positive, they do not harm our well-being, so embracing them cannot hurt you, unless you try to cling on to them which is inadvisable because they are ever-fleeting.
And unless a negative emotion is a call to healing, say from an offense you took from a moment and therefore needing to heal from that moment, process the negative emotion so you can move on. But if it is a negative emotion emerging without a reason, out of the blue, then I suggest you do not practice embracing such sensations as they are the equivalent of negative thoughts, and what do negative thoughts do but pull and keep you down?
Positive spirits are rather the ones you need to have made a home in you. Set positive spirits (states of being) as your default inner self-mode, which you will return to, once you’ve processed any negative moment you may feel that is in need of healing.
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